How To Get Your Kids To Listen Without Yelling

Yelling at your kids is not a good idea. It can make them scared and upset and it doesn’t help to solve problems. Instead, try talking to take a calmer approach. Try out these tips and let us know if they helped!

Start by setting the example yourself – if you’re yelling, they’re going to yell

One key factor to getting your kids to listen without yelling is to set the example yourself. Let’s face it – if you’re assuming an exasperated or impatient tone when speaking with them, they are likely going to react in the same way.

For instance, your eight-year-old daughter may not realize that she should use a calm tone of voice until she hears you doing so first. Therefore, focus on developing a peaceful yet effective means of communication in order for your children to learn from example.

Try to stay calm when you’re speaking to them, even if it’s hard

When speaking to your children, try your best to stay calm and use a softer tone of voice even when it’s difficult. Remember that everyone will listen better if they are spoken to with patience and respect rather than anger or shouting.

Keeping a level head while communicating with your children can help them learn the importance of proper communication without raising their stress levels.

Talk to them at eye level instead of looking down at them

Instead of raising your voice and showing “adult” dominance, make sure you’re talking to them at eye level; kneel down to their height or let them come to yours.

This will convey respect and empathy even when you need to deliver tough messages. Plus, you’ll see that conversation instead of conflict can be an effective way to get your children’s attention and get results.

Use positive reinforcement instead of punishment – focus on what they did right, not what they did wrong

Instead of punishing misbehavior and pointing out all of the wrong things they have done, try using positive reinforcement instead. Focusing on what your children did right, rather than what they did wrong will help to reinforce good behavior and encourage more positive outcomes in the future.

Rewarding good behavior with praise, rewards, or privileges can go a long way in helping kids feel like their actions are valued and appreciated. Not only will this approach help them behave better in the present, but it will also teach them important life skills that will serve them for years to come.

Be clear and concise when you’re giving instructions or asking them to do something

If you take the time and effort to state what you need in a calm and conversational tone, it can be much easier for your kids to understand exactly what you are asking of them. Demonstrating that their needs are valued will also give them more motivation to comply with your requests.

Taking this approach could help decrease friction between you and your children, allowing for less heated exchanges and encouraging them to respond positively.

Give them a chance to explain their side of the story before jumping to conclusions

One of the most important lessons we can teach our kids is how to communicate in a constructive way. When issues arise, it’s easy to point the finger and start shouting or lecturing right away. However, the best way to handle these situations with our children is by giving them a chance to explain their side of the story.

Let them explain why they did something, or why they’re feeling a certain way, before jumping to conclusions.

Not only will this show them that their feelings are valid and will be respected, but it also makes clear that both parties should listen rationally and not just react emotionally. This is an invaluable lesson for them to learn as they grow up!


No one ever said being a parent was easy, but luckily there are some things you can do to make communication with your kids a little bit easier. Next time you find yourself getting frustrated, try following these tips and see how they help. Do you have any tips of your own? Let us know in the comments below!

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